The year was 1992, and "Your's Truly" was a freshman student at Humber College. My very first class, was strictly an orientation geared towards campus life and its subsequent policies. Informing me what I'm entitled to as a student, and how to go about acquiring any help I may need during the duration of my stay at Humber.

Inserted between the more standard fare of topics, was one addressed to the female population, which can only be described as "Safety 101: WHY IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO HOAX A SEXUAL ASSAULT.".

 

 I know what you're thinking. "What brain-dead bimbo, would be stupid enough to do something like that?".

 

 Well apparently, in the months preceeding my acceptance to the college, a woman had done just that. Habitually late for class, the school was threatening to expell her for her repeated tardiness, if it happened one more time. Well, I guess "Daddy's Little Princess" woke up one day with a hangover, and was destined to be late for school. So upon arriving there, she informed security that someone had "raped her" on campus.

 

 Fast foward 6 months.

 

 Every campus male has been walking around on eggshells. We've all be subjected to a one-day course run, by what I can only describe as the GODMOTHER of all Femi-Nazi's. In which she casually informs us, that all men are capable of such acts, in fact we "consistently fantasize" about such, and that if we all don't receive help someone could be next. Of course, I walked out halfway through this glorified hostage situation. Realizing the notion of college being an "institution of higher learning", was obviously overrated. Henceforth, I wasn't about to bankrupt myself in what was nothing more than a glorified, Left-Wing "concentration camp" of man-bashers.

 

 Well, apparently that segment of the orientation has been abandon altogether!

 

 http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2008/09/18/6803046.html

 

 Congradulations to my old stomping grounds! You're really turning out quality individuals!

 

 In fact, I want to return to teach! "Professor Gould's" course would possibly be titled: "CRYING WOLF 101: WHY FILING A FALSE SEXUAL ASSAULT REPORT SHOULD BE AN AUTOMATIC 15 YEAR SENTENCE.".

 

 Thinking they'd go for it?

 

 Probably not. They'd just call me a "misogynist", and sentence me to "sensitivity training"!

 

 

...according to Bill Maher, America "Is a dumber country than you (Canada)."

 

 

 Hey...Don't shoot the messenger. This is one of YOUR boys laying claim to this.

 

 But since we're on the topic of "dumb", let us examine the subject's poster child himself!

 

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Maher

 

 Mentally disabled children, child molestation victims, those who died in 9/11. That's right kids! They're all fair game, to Maher's higher sense of "wisdom".

 

 Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Alright, people....

 

 I don't know which one of you is lacing my "Timmie's Ice Caps" with LSD, but it's seriously beginning to take its toll on my psyche. Yesterday, I could have sworn I read The Toronto Sun's CONNIE WOODCOCK of all people, shooting down a potential Sarah Palin Vice Presidency, over her FASHION CHOICES....

 

 http://www.torontosun.com/comment/columnists/connie_woodcock/2008/09/08/6695146.html

 

 And THEN, as if there wasn't enough residual poision decimating my thought process from someone's slight-of-hand tribute to "Viktor Yushchenko" on Monday, TODAY I see JOY BEHAR...

 

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joy_Behar

 

 ....of the television  talk show "The View", on "LARRY KING LIVE" of all shows, slamming the same possibility as well because...AND I QUOTE..."She's not kind to animals.".

 

 Ladies, allow me to explain a few things to you. Because OBVIOUSLY you're NOT getting the message.

 

 Connie, dear? You're about as stylish as a nursing home patient. Who are you to talk bad about anyone? It's not the public's fault if your husband finds Sarah Palin attractive. And irregadless of her political and educational pedigree (Which is rather impressive I may add. Especially for someone so young.), every man I've polled in the last few days, would throw an ORGY in celebration, if their subsequent other looked as put together as Governnor Palin does, after 44 years and 5 kids.

 

 Joy? It's called "HUNTING". There's a HUGE difference, between outright animal abuse, and the sport of HUNTING. Palin is HUNTER. A HUNTER from ALASKA (I'm repeating this, as clearly you're 10 steps and half a brain behind the rest of the thinking world). So when your hypocritical, Italian ass sits down to eat a typical Italian dinner, or puts on your favorite pair of leather pumps to wear, GUESS WHAT? Someone like Palin killed that animal FOR YOU. To eat or wear. Somone like Palin...A HUNTER FROM ALASKA.

 

 Ladies...How long have us men had to listen to you piss and moan, about "Not having a woman in the White House"? And when you potentially have one, you publically crucify her over "fashion faux pas" and not being "cuddly enough"?

 

 Could you BE any more stereotypical?

 

 

 

 I just don't understand David Miller. He opposes legal gun ownership, yet endorses HIGHWAY ROBBERY....

 

 http://www.torontosun.com/News/TorontoAndGTA/2008/09/01/6626736-sun.html

 

 Actually, if I'm following "D.Twister" logic (which I've come to view as absoute, in its consistent accuracy), this all makes PERFECT sense now. Make sure the simpletons are unarmed, BEFORE you rob them blind. That way, they can't revolt. So in laymen's terms, here's the skinny, folks: If you live and drive a vehicle in the city of Toronto, in addtion to your required, annual provincial payments, you NOW have to fork over ANOTHER annual fee of $60.00 to David Miller, if you want to continue "priviledge" of driving the vehlicle YOU paid for. For scooters and motorcycles, it's $30.00 a year. Ironic he included these as well. Considering in 2005, the city legislated free parking to all such 2-wheeled vehicles throughout th city. This in hopes of alieviating, downtown traffic congestion. And further promoting a less caustic mode of transportation. NOW, he discriminates against the very modes fo transportations HE once promoted! HAHA!

 

 But keep in mind, people. This is David Miller we're talking about. So look fo him to repeal this piece of legislation sometime soon. Most likely when he needs to invest in a new wardrobe to accomodate his ever-growing girth, which is currently taxing (no pun intended) the stitching of his pantlines.

 

 "I LOVE the small of robbery in the morning! Smells like....Labour Day!"