Occasionally, I just want to consume copious amounts of booze, in the vain attempt of slipping off into an alcohol-induced coma. Tonight, is just one of those times.

 

 I feel like a lousy person, and it seems no matter how much I give, of myself or anything for that matter, it never seems to be enough for some people. They still end up angry or unhappy with me, and I end up feeling confused. Left to question my degree of humanity. Which is not right. I know I'm a good person. So why do I feel the opposite is true?

 

 I'm beginning to see why some people choose to go "off paper", and piss away their role in society. Maybe they already know what I'm beginning to realize: People, much like everything else, just don't make sense. They're a puzzle, that cannot be solved.

 

 Gh0sT

 

 Have I been waiting to see this for a long time!

 

  http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060924/ap_on_re_us/clinton_fox_news

 

 With one simple (and legitimate) question, Chris Wallace broke down "Bubba" Bill's cool exterior during a recent interview. I don't think I've witnessed someone go off this badly, since the Tom Cruise interview with Matt Lauer. Some of the things he said, weren't even rational, and bordered on paranoid. He came off sounding more like Hugo Chavez, than the former President of the United States.

 

 I don't know who he thinks he's kidding, but his attempts to stop terrorist activities were marginal, at best. And I'm sure alot of the people working at the WTC, African U.S. embassy, or serving on the U.S.S. Cole, would disagree with the quality of his work. In his defense, he was extremely busy during his tenure in office. You know. Getting blowjobs from his staff, lying under oath, washing his hands of the Vince Foster fiasco, and distancing himself from the Whitewater scandal. But HEY! He's only human, ya know?

 

 I'm not going to beat a dead horse. But it's nice to see someone else in the hotseat for a change. Someone just as deserving, or more so.

 

 "I did NOT have sexual relations, with that woman."

 

 Gh0sT

 

 

 Not that we needed further proof, but here's yet another shining example:

 

 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060920/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/un_general_assembly

 

 The U.N. general assembly, is the butt of jokes, to any rational, thinking person. Essentially, it's nothing more than a third world "mud slinging contest", officiated by a legislative body, who refuses to get off their hands, and curtail any type of inappropriate action. Unless, of course, it's self-serving. In their defence, they've always behaved in that manner previously, so it would be a crying shame to ruin a good thing by doing the exact, opposite.

 

 The idea, that the current President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, or the current President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, are even permitted the privilege of standing at a U.N. podium (which is supposed  to be a platform to promote peace), and spewing their hate-filled rhetoric, is an ultimate pervsion of the process itself. Chavez being an oil rich communist dictator, and Ahmadinejad being tooted as the "Iranian version of Adolph Hitler", both are hardly in any position to critize President Bush. Whether you disagree with Bush's foreign policies or not, he's never called for the complete and total annihilation of an entire race (as has Ahmadinejad). He has called for the elimination of rogue factions of them, for the greater good of the people, and world peace process. But never for their complete elimination. Chavez has moudled his presidency, its policies, and subsequent rules of enforcement, after his commrade, and another fine, upstanding citizen, Cuban President Fidel Castro. So for Chavez to call Bush "the Devil", is like the "pot" calling the kettle "black".

 

 But all this is besides the point. Because, when push comes to shove, it's the job of the U.N., to regulate and govern over these rogue leaders. However, for well over half a century, the U.N. has refrained from exercising any real sense of political peace enforcement. These leaders know this, and openly flaunt any empty threat of sanctions the U.N. may put forth, as a result of their activities. Imagne how apathetic you would be, if you knew your local police force refused to arrest, detain, or take any kind of action, against anyone conducting criminal activity. Well, that's what's happening with the U.N., on a global level. Remember back in the months preceeding the Gulf war, just how many times Iraq played "cat and mouse" games, turning away U.N. weapons inspectors at the door? What was done about that? Exactly. Nothing. And so the pattern continues.

 

 As stated previously. The U.N. exists for their own, self-serving interests. They've existed like that from their inception, and will continue to, unless a miracle happens. However, that doesn't mean, that free nations of the world, must abide by THEIR hypocritical set of vaules, and essentially "lay down" for them. Which is why President Bush, is so disliked by U.N. sheep: He simply recognizes the hypocricy at work, and chooses to "flaunt" them in return. Just like his counterparts have done for so long. But unlike his renegade contemporaries, he does it in the interest of the nation. Not his OWN interests. So why should that make him any more guilty or hated then they are?

 

 On a side note, I want to take a moment, to seriously plug this link:

 

 http://thedosiusdreamtwister.spaces.live.com/

 

 Although we don't always agree on much politically, he's a good friend of mine. His arguements always have merrit, and are worthy of a good read. It's just not his fault he lives in a bunker. :)

 

 "Peace be unto you!"

 

 Gh0sT

 

 

 So Canada finally has it's own version of "Columbine":

 

 http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/17092006/3/canada-nervous-montreal-students-prepare-return-shooting-scene.html

 

 As a longstanding member in the Toronto Gothic community, I half expected to be approached by people unfimilar with this specific subculture, and questioned about its relation to what occured in Montreal. Well, it didn't take long. So in addition to what I've already stated to friends and co-workers, here's my public stance on what transpired.

 

 When something of this magnitude occurs, with such dire circumstances, it's human nature to lay blame, without researching the actual cause and effect of what happened. We attempt to make links superfically, instead of looking beneath the surface, to try and get to the core of the problem. It's easier, and let's be honest: Human beings are more often than not, downright lazy and simple. This happened when examining Columbine. Unfortunately, we didn't learn our lesson then, so we're repeating history with the Montreal incident.

But scratching the surface, doesn't "feed the bulldog". Nor does trying to link these spree killings to something we are either completely ignorant of, or outright fearful of. Namely put, the gothic subculture.

 

 Think about it. How many spree killings have take place over the years? In Canada alone, I know of a least a dozen or so in the last 20 years. God only knows how many in the United States. But it's only these two, that keep popping up in the media. Anyone bother to ask themselves WHY that is? I tell you why: Because apparently, it's only "bad guys, that wear black". And in regards to all these other sprees, nobody in the media rushed out to investigate any piticular socio or cultural leanings, these other serial killers had with anyone or any group.

 

 But when you think about it, that makes perfect sense. Because if they did, they might be startled by the similarities, they themselves had with the culprits. How ordinary and mundane they seem. Not only in appearance, but in lifestyle. It's much easier for someone, to peer into a world they don't understand, and judge it, then it is for them to actually break out of their comfort zone, do some real research, and go deep below the surface, to attain some more practical understanding of what really happened.

 

 The only links that can be made, between Kimveer Gill, Dylan Klebold, and Eric Harris, is that they were all clearly sociopathic, all had a marginal interest (at best) in the gothic comunity. That's it. As someone who's been involved in the gothic community for almost 15 years now, I can state, with absolute accuracy, that these characters, with their types of behavioural traits, have no other option, but to exist on the fringe of it. They's get almost zero acceptance in it, and would be generally shunned by the majority. True. Because of the "dark" nature of the culture itself, they'd be more apt to be accepted into it than any other. But I've witnessed firsthand, people like these before, try to assimilate into it, without any luck. Being the antithesis of what the scene is all about, they never last long. Generally becoming the laughing stock of everyone's jokes, and are generally avoided whenever possible.

 

 Klebold and Harris, were sociopathic, highschool "nobodys", wanting to be "somebody". Their threats, online and verbal, did more to ostracize them from their peers, than did their supposed "gothic" dresscode. In fact, in the post-killing interviews with their classmates, that was the majority of their opinion. Their attire was rarely mentioned. Kids make the exception for "fashion crimes" all the time. But can you blame them for not wanting to befriend people, who said multiple times, they were coming to murder them all in one shot?

 Gill was a 25 year-old sociopathic nobody, who acted and spoke with all the grace, of a potty-mouth, 13 year-old boy. He refused to grow up. While his peers were well on their way to making lives for themselves, going to college or university, and bullding careers, Gill was busy cementing the persona of a "tough guy". Posting pictures online of his various weapons, and make threats. Not much different then his American counterparts. But he did share in their sociopathic qualities. With the threat of being a nobody for the rest of his life, looming over his head, those same qualities allowed him to live up to the phrase: "If you can't be famous, be infamous.". And, like his American comrades, he took such a liberty.

 

 In short....If people are truly interested, in what makes these killers act out, the need to go BELOW  the surface. That, is where the real answers lay. NOT in a person's dresscode, or taste in music.

 

 Evil can just as easily wear a tie, as it does a trenchcoat.

 

 Think about it.

 

 Gh0sT
 
 

 

..................

 Many moons ago, Depeche Mode inked out lyrics that went, "I think that God has got a sick sense of humour, and when I die, I expect to find him laughing...". The more I contemplate this, the more I'm beginning to feel there's some credence to that phrase. I honestly do.

 

 With every passing year, I'm questioning more. Not just some aspects of my life, but everything. Subsequently, I'm finding less and less answers to each question. At this point, it's become a game of perpetuating confusion, and I'm merely an unwitting player in it. I constantly feel like I'm having a bad dream, I am unable to rouse from. Yet, at the same time, I'm finding clarity and understanding, in what other's deem murky and incomprehensible. I'm viewing antisocial behaviours like addiction, as being the lesser of the evil's. I'm understand how conceivable it is, and dare I say practical, that someone chooses to essentially "shut out" the rest of the world, with chemicals. Or alters their life, so as to avoid the rest of the waking world, as much as humanly possible. Both are not suicide, but could be construde as "social" suicide. How someone could be so insane, they almost come full circle, and appear sane.

 

 I think all of this just goes to further the notion, that I'm very different than most everyone I encounter. I think my family are acutely aware of this, and it terrifies them to no end. Occasionally, myself as well. They'd prefer I just disappear, or morph into a character, more palpable to their liking. They seek to understand something, that cannot be understood. And that's coming from the horse's mouth.

 

 Somewhere, someone's laughing their ass off. And I just know it's at my expense. But I'm okay with that. Because, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

 

 Gh0sT

 The Dixie Chicks, are STILL "attention whores":

 

 http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_3507.aspx

 

 Ironically enough, if it wasn't for the very Presidency they critize, they'd have no careers!

 

 Having said that, they're dumb blonde, left-wing nutjobs. Who've retracted their anti-Bush statements TWICE now. But only when their album sales began to plummet. Courage of their convictions? I don't think so!

 

 A political statement? Or just upset, they'll never make the cover of "Playboy"? This will have to do! 

 

 'Nuff said.

 

 Gh0sT

 Check this out............  At a time when war is inevitable, gas prices are at an all-time high, and every "eco nut" with facial piercings and a bad dye job, is screaming for big buisness to save the envoirnment from disaster, it's interesting to follow the trend of vehicle sales and purchases in North America.

 

 Many of the "Big Three" are continuing to produce models, which only get larger with every new, production season. I noticed this same trend in motorcycles begin to shift several years back, and it's progressively getting worse with vehicles. Specifically, SUV's.

 

 So the question bears asking: With all these variables in mind, why are the majority of manufactures NOT downsizing their vehicles, instead?

 

 Well, there are several reasons.

 

 The first being, these manufactures are not stupid. They know a high portion of the consumer population suffer from "Napoleon Syndrome", and as such, use their purchases, to compensation for their insecurities and inadequacies. Henforth, the phrase "Keeping up with The Joneses" is never more apparent, than it is in vehicles sales. Some salespeople can be keenly aware of this, and as a result, capitalize on buyer insecurities, to help close a deal. So instead of walking off the lot with something more practical, they walk of with something more "disco". Which, by the time it has proven its impracticality, has already greatly diminished in resale value.

 

 But there's another "LARGER" reason, maufactures continue to produce supersized vehicles at record speed. Which, simpley put, is this:

 

 We've become a nation, of FAT ASSES.

 

 Yes, I know. The politically correct terminology, would include words such as "rubenesque", "oversized", or even "robust". But this is MY blog. So we use the term "FAT". And in keeping with the theory of evolution, its practical to think our vehicles would naturally have to evolve with us, in order to accomodate our ever-expanding waistlines. Everything from heavy duty shock absorbers, disk brakes, to complete redesigned interiors (Something Ford has now done.), have been fabricated to accomodate much larger body types, than in previous history. Pretty soon, the average joe, with a moderately-maintained B.M.I., is going to feel like a child, sitting in one of these engineered bohemiths. However, as a nation which shows no signs of regressing to our healthier body shapes, it may seem that vehicles of this magnitude, are the way of the future (In addition to 'Big and Tall' fashion outlets. But that's another story altogether.). Which, of course, only serves to further pollute the envoirnment at a breakneck pace. As large engines, produce large emissions.

 

 Here's a prime example of what I'm refering to. Straight from personal experience.

 

 A man comes into the shop. I'll say he's approximately 6'2', and roughly 350 pounds. He's looking for something to re-enforce the frame, of his Suzuki Intruder 1400cc motorcycle.  Which is a cruiser-class bike. Maybe not a 2000cc, or an 1800cc, but still considered VERY large.  Anyways, he says he feels the frame and motor labouring under the weight, when he and his wife ride it two-up. Still, that seems highly improbable to myself. A bike being that size, should easily accomodate two people. In addition to their luggage.

 

 Then, I got a look at his wife.

 

 I'll be generous, and say she was only 400 pounds. Truth be told, I think I'm being conservative, with both their estimates. Suddenly, the idea of the bike labouring wasn't so inconceivable. Add 50 pounds each for safety apparel, plus a hundred for luggage, I'm surprised the bike held up as long as it did. Again, I reiterate: This is no small motorcycle. If "your's truly" sat on it, with his 5'9', 135 pound frame, the image it would present would look ludicrously absurd. Imagine a monkey, trying to f__k a gorilla. Yes. THAT absurd. So he wastes an hour of the staff's time, while they try to track down something for him, they know DOES NOT exist. Because it's easier for him to do that, than it is for he and his wife to go on a diet.

 

 It seems to me, as a society, we have our priorities out of whack. Because we're clearly sending mixed messages. Don't misunderstand me. I'm all for accomodating people with disabilities, via making the requisite changes. The vertically challenged, the mobility challenged, the visually or hearing impared. But when you're a fat ass, you're a FAT ASS. That's NOT a "disability". That's just plain, ol' lack of discipline. And your lack of discipline is not only killing you, it's killing the envoirnment, when you're forced to purchase one of these gas-guzzlers, to get you from A to B.

 

 Something to think about. While you're chowing down, on your next Happy Meal.

 

 Gh0sT
 

 
 

 

   

 I've lost track, of just how many stomach attacks I've had, in just the last week alone. Tonight I'm battling yet another. Henceforth, why I'm blogging at 2am, listening to V.A.C., when I have to be up at 9am, to go to work at "Psycho Ward". I FUCKING HATE EATING. I had ONE, lousy meal, and now I'm paying for it. If Hell can be personalized, I swear to God, I'll be sent to a version, of its "all you can eat" buffet. If I had my way, I'd live off a steady diet of booze and drugs. One principle alone, they're the only things, that DON'T make me ill, and send me racing to the medicine cabnet for relief.

 

 I don't know. Maybe I'll fast for the next few days.

 

 

 

 

......Worst....Ownage....EVER.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killdozer_(bulldozer)

 

 

 

 

 Check this out: http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_3245.aspx

 

 A team of British filmmakers, have decided to cash in on their "fifteen minutes of fame", by producing a mock documentary. "About what?", you may ask? Why, the assassination of President George Bush, of course!

 

 Yes. You read that right.

 

 Apparently, these "artists" produced this, not as a blatant "cash grab" (Because, let's be honest: Their overly moral, artistic values, would NEVER permit them to do so.), but instead, in an attempt be "thought-provoking".

 

 Uh uh. Sure they did.

 

 You know....You have to love this new breed of modern artist. They strut around, with a "holier than thou" attitude,  acting as if they and they alone, hold the key to intellectual enlightenment. While us mere mortals grovel at their feet. Waiting to bear witness, to the fruits of their next, creative endeavor. Well, let me be the first to say: WHAT A LOAD OF S__T.

 

 Let's cut to the chase, people: What's worse than a "HAS BEEN"? That's right. A "NEVER WAS". These "artists" realize this. THAT, is why they made this cinematic piece of refuse. It will forever be something they can cling to, when they are old, alone, infirmed, craping their diapers, and clingling tenaciously to their one, past glory (i.e. This glorified piece of political  crap).  They're selling the general public a "supper warmed over" (That being, a pathlogical hatred of President Bush.). Unfortunately, most of the general public, are too stupid to realize this. As a result, they will subsequently eat it up, just as quickly as a Micheal Moore "mockumentary" opening in West Hollywood, or Micheal himself invading an "all you can eat" buffet.

 

 And speaking of "Bush-hating", allow me to say this...

 

 I know the "sport de jour" for the last two presidential terms, has been "Bush bashing". Artists like Neil Young, The Dixie Chicks, and a host of other A-list celebs, have done so, for their own, selfish monitary and professional gain. But again, cutting to the chase: It all boils down to a case of sour grapes. The only thing Presidnt Bush is provably "guilty" of, is running the country with most fortitude and gusto, then his limp-wristed predessor. The likes of which, was too busy lying under oath, perpetuating investigations, chasing skirts, and allowing multiple terrorist acts, to go unretaliated against. And to Bush's detractors, I say this: If he is so horrible, then why did you vote him into power a SECOND TIME?

 

 Yes, I know. Let me guess: "He riggered the election", right? Uh huh. Right. Check your fillings for alien implants, people. And to all you celebs out there? If you don't like what your ELECTED official is doing with your country, then run for office yourself, OR GET THE HELL OUT.

In short, allow me to say this. For all their supposed "intellect", I wonder if any of those filmmakers thought how THEY would feel, if someone made a film about THEIR possible murder? How would THEY feel about THEIR family watching something like that? But again: They're "artists". Known for their "art". Not their intellect.

 

 On a good note, the White House refused to comment on the matter. Which is a good. Because these a__holes already been given enough media coverage as it is.

 

 That's my story. And I'm sticking to it.

 

 Gh0sT